या देवी सर्वभुतेषु मातृरूपेण संस्थिता ।
नमस्तस्यै नमस्तस्यै नमस्तस्यै नमो नमः ॥
नमस्तस्यै नमस्तस्यै नमस्तस्यै नमो नमः ॥
In the recent global phenomenon represented by the hashtag
#MeToo, women (and some men) across the world have shared horror stories of
sexual harassment and violence and have held their perpetrators accountable at
a mass scale for the first time in history. Grown, successful, confident
professionals came out with stories that they haven’t had the courage to share
with even their own parents before now. While this is a wonderful and powerful
movement that unites the world in an anger that, hopefully, will bring about
some change in our society, it has also brought to surface a terrible, terrible
truth: women are often women’s worst enemies.
As a part of this movement, the Everyday Sexism Project
based in the UK set Twitter ablaze with the viral hashtag #WhenIWas, with the
intention to expose how early children are exposed to sexual predation. The
stories pouring in made it clear that the majority of women have been inappropriately
touched even before they hit their teenage years. But what was more alarming
was the number of stories that placed blame on the victims’ mothers, who chose
to side with the predator over believing their own children.
There is no betrayal greater than that of a parent actively
refusing to protect her or his own child. But consider what cultural conditioning
could have led to the seriously disturbing societal tendency of women putting
their men’s reputation and “needs” before the safety of their children. Research
indicates that women are more vulnerable than men to being banished from
society as a consequence of their actions; so when they feel threatened, they
would rather conform with others, even at the cost of excluding someone else. We,
as women, judge other women for their body type, their choices, their
appearances, their beliefs – all because we are scared for ourselves.
Patriarchy is so deeply instilled in our lives that we have been whitewashed for
centuries into making the male approval our priority. Think of it as what the
colonial British did to India – they got us to oppress each other, to fight
each other, to hate each other. But it is time to put a stop to this.
Acknowledging that there is a problem is the first step to
solving the problem. Telling your daughter that she is no different than a son
is not enough. Believe her when she tells you how she has been hurt, and be
brave for her. Stand up for her. Defend your sisters. Empathize. Eventually, we
want a world in which you aren’t forced to ask young girls to return home
before dark because, unfortunately, it is just not safe for them. Eventually,
we want a world in which parents teach their boys to respect girls as equals.
But until we get there, use every little movement, every little opportunity, to
stand up for each other, because we know exactly what the rest of us are going
through – we’ve all had to go through it ourselves. Let’s not just worship Maa
Durga – let’s find her in us.
